Happenstance

Tonight is opening night of my senior concert. This project has been under way for more than a year. I will finally get to see all of my ideas and hard work come to life on the stage. The process has been challenging, rewarding, frustrating, and emotional all at once. For the first time, I have had the experience of being the choreographer, designer, producer, and director of a show. Being in charge, making decisions, and creating an artistic vision is what I am supposed to be doing. This work is worth every minute put into it.

I am proud of the choreography that I am putting on the stage. I am proud of the posters designed for the show. I am thrilled with the dancers abilities. I am grateful to all who have been involved. I am inspired and excited.

These four years of college have been the best journey of my life so far. I am leaving as a grad who has experienced life to the fullest during my time at school. My future looks promising because of the phenomenal education I have received.

This time is emotional and bittersweet. There are so many things yet to come....

SO...tonight I dance my final farewell to the best dance department and people I know.

Merde!

Kansas Dance Festival 2010

Here are some photos from my latest show. There are several great shots here!

Tonight is for You.

Tonight is the last night that I dance in college. It is my senior year and last fall show. Internal would be a good word to describe my mood. I am not sad necessarily, but happiness wouldn't be accurate either. I am reflecting on my memories in this short amount of time. So many wonderful things have been discovered on the stage at my college. I came with doubt and a feeling of, "well, I don't know if I can do this but I guess I am going to try." Now I have this journey of college behind me where I have seen more growth, maturity, and confidence find its way inside me.

I have steadily come so far and discovered who I am. I hope that tonight's performance reflects all that I am feeling.

To follow your dreams is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

Art

Sometimes personal tragedy triggers the production of the most poignant art. While you never wish for death and hurt to enter your life, there is beauty that comes from the total breakdown of the spirit. Your art is the thing that supports you when you cannot hold yourself up. It is reliable and never asks you questions. It waits patiently, through plateaus and bouts of bad ideas, for that one moment when genius shows itself.

I rely on my dancing to get me through the hardest of times. It pushes me and breaks me down as it builds my strength back up. My art makes me confront my problems and not avoid them. Some people turn to drugs and alcohol to drown out the difficulties that they are facing. No strength can be gained from making bad choices.

If you channel your energy, you can create wonderful things. Things that can change you and force you to view life from a new angle. There is such power to be gained from feeling every single emotion that life makes you feel.

August has been hard, but my passion is holding me up through these hard times. Happiness will find me again and I will be better for the pain I have been meant to feel.

Kind of an epic post, but I mean every word of it. Never choose the easy way out.

August Update

My entire month of July was dedicated to dancing. I attended a festival in New York for three weeks. I learned many lessons, none of which I was expecting to learn.

New styles and teachers were introduced to me. The approach was different and refreshing. The whole experience was less than what I had in mind, but I managed to take so many wonderful lessons home with me.

First of all, I have gained a serious respect for my teachers and professors at my college. Sometimes it is easy to envy those in the big city of New York. This trip made me realize just how fabulous my teachers are at home. I am receiving an outstanding education and I can’t thank them all enough.

The second lesson is just as important. I realize that there is no need for intimidation. When you are from a small town, you look up to these big places with these big names. It is so important to realize that people are just people no matter where you go. No one should feel like they aren’t good enough or that their ideas aren’t good enough just because they aren’t from a big city.

The third and final lesson that I took away was that I am at a critical point in my life. Right now I am discovering by rejection. Sometimes it feels as if I hate everything. It is a lot easier to point out what I don’t like about a style, movement, or teacher. This isn’t a bad thing….for now. By rejecting certain ways, I am discovering ways that I like. This is a huge learning break-through. It is good to be specific as long as you always keep your mind open to new ways of interpreting things.

Just when I get discouraged and wonder why I am on this dance journey, I get a phone call. Something always pulls through and work is happening again. Opportunities will present themselves to you. You just have to know what you want and keep yourself open to new experiences.

Ideas are swamping me for my final concert in December. Six original works for an evening show. Bring it on!

Buzzing...

The Wiyos of Oz!!!!!

In the last post I mentioned that a tour with The Wiyos was fast approaching and our spring concert would be up and running again. Well, we just wrapped our final show and I am staying up late buzzing about all that I have learned from this experience. We went on the road...and not the glamorous road, the REAL road. There was nothing fancy about this trip. We went to small towns and did it the way it is done in the real world. The dancers were the crew AND the performers. We stayed up late in uncomfortable buses. I have never tried to find so many different ways to sleep in one tiny square seat.

The work was tiring and being away is always exhausting, but the experience is really priceless. The show was such a success and playing for an audience of complete strangers is intensely rewarding.

Every dancer should perform with LIVE MUSIC at least once! It changes everything, absolutely everything, about the way you approach movement.

I have experienced what it is like to build a character and expand that role. I know now what it means to find something new in every performance. In a show that is repeated so many times, you have to experience something new or the performance will become stale. Within this last month alone, something has clicked with me internally about being onstage. I now know how to be entirely in the moment. Stage presence. That elusive "thing" that cannot be taught has finally found its way inside of me. Something happened during a performance. It clicked and I cannot explain it, but I get it.

I am buzzing. I am scatterbrained and buzzing about my own little self discoveries and performance experiences. Learning and growing as an artist is the most exciting part about this crazy career choice. No one likes to plateau and I am ready to start climbing again....

Self-Discoveries

I had one of "those" performances last night. It is the end of the semester, my body, my mind, my everything is exhausted. I gave myself a warm up and worried endlessly about the strained muscle in my leg. I thought that last night was going to be a terrible performance by me. I gave everything I had anyways.

A friend of mine is graduating and for the first time in my career at Wichita State, I was given a solo. Politics rule everything and solos are saved for the same people....over and over. I was finally given my chance to shine. There are those performers that are flawless. Everytime you watch them dance it is a pleasure because they move with such ease. They are given solos and leads because you never worry about their ability to pull it off. They are safe. I am a different kind of dancer and performer. From the day that I started at WSU, I have had to prove myself. I started at the very bottom. My name was forgotten. I was forgotten. BUT, I fought my way up. Between working hard in class and taking all of the understudy positions offered to me, I was finally being remembered. Leads are still given to the same people and it will always be like this, but I think I prefer my place. I am full of surprises...for everyone else as well as myself.

Last night I put all of my technique, heart, and acting abilities into two minutes. When I left the stage, for the first time, I received applause for my performance alone. I am a modest person, and a shy person. I love to show people what I do, but I do it for me not for the attention. Hearing that applause that sounded so genuine was incredible and I have never felt more thankful for anything. This is what I was meant to do and I am finally getting the chance to do it.

The biggest reward was hearing reactions to my performances. I was able to move people to tears with just a performance. This is what art is supposed to be. For the first time I really feel like I am a performer. It is powerful to know that I can change how people feel just by dancing. It isn't about the attention or compliments. It is about this energy, and self-discovery. I exposed myself and became completely vulnerable and that is what it takes. Now, I can feel that.

Artists and performers have careers full of ups and downs. It is part of why we love what we do. We climb a little bit and then we sit at that plateau for while before we struggle to be enlightened further. We need the struggle and the climb. So that is the story of my latest self-discovery. I hope everyone gets the chance to discover something hidden inside of them because the feeling is so important for a performer. I have a renewed spirit and energy that is pushing me now. I can feel myself climbing again and I don't want to stop! My home is the stage and I can't wait to be there again...and again...and again...

The Wiyos on TOUR!

The show closed a little over a month ago and school resumed just as it always does. Classes become monotonous and summer always seems just out of reach. Without any warning, the last week of classes has arrived and once again, my college days have gone by in a flash. Thankfully, dancing will continue even after classes are done. Summer is always an exciting time and this summer in particular should be an experience to remember.

The Wiyos is coming back! The process for the show was less than thrilling and the stress of everything being pulled together kind of takes over. Now that we have all had a chance to separate from the show, I am ready to bring it back! Three shows have been added around the state of Kansas. The perfect setting for the classic tale of Oz...with a twist of course. The Wiyos (band) will be making the trip back as well. This tour should be loads of fun and I can't wait to perform again!

Summer at White Mountain College Dance Festival. I am doing it. I am going to go away for three weeks in the summer and dance with complete strangers. Life is about taking chances and making changes. This should be a great way to make connections, new friends, and learn about myself as a performer. I know very little about the program and am feeling nervous, excited, apprehensive, and thrilled all at once!

My last semester of college is next fall. This is my last week of my last spring semester. A year from now, I will be done with my undergraduate degree. Where did all of the time go? The rest of this year is too exciting to worry about all of that!

Show Week!

It is the week of the show. Life has been unpredictable, tragic, and hectic, as is usual. Nevertheless, we have reached show week and are somehow pulling it all together. This show in particular has gotten a lot of exposure in the city of Wichita. The combination of a classic story, live music, and interactive arts, makes it a fun way to get the attention of those in the community. Maybe more people will come out and support us when we don't do the shows with all of the fancy additives and just get back to wonderful concert dance.

It is exciting to see the articles on the front page. It is also fun to be a part of something so unique and different. I just wanted to include a few of the articles for you all to read a little bit about the show!

Wichita Eagle

WSU Sunflower

thewiyos

Human

Have you ever seen a show, a movie, heard a song, seen a painting, seen ANYTHING, that has made you so excited to be a human being? I listened to a song that had notes arranged in a way that brought me to tears. Human abilities never stop fascinating me. We are the only species on the planet with this exceptional and beautiful ability to create art. People think of things, and from their mind comes pure brilliance. It gets me excited to think about people creating and choreographing not just dances, but scenes that depict real human emotions. So much can be said with a little imagination and art. To have the freedom to express ideas creatively is a gift many take for granted.

Some days I am disappointed in humans. Some days I am frustrated with closed, stubborn, judgmental individuals. But today I am excited to be human. Today, I am excited to see what other humans can say with their talents. The talents that I see give me hope that the world is capable of being a better place. Human beings have the rare capacity to express and feel. This can and should continue to change lives.

Principle

I am back from my extended stay in LA. Gaining some experience out there was priceless. It really clues me in to my likes and dislikes. Experiences that highlight what your goals are are critical to all artists.

The new semester has started and already has my head spinning. There are so many possibilities this semester. We have show to put together in less than 8 weeks, a possible trip to ACDF in Louisiana, and a possible trip to France. A tour in France would make this year more exciting and wonderful than ever.

Hopefully in between all of this I can find some time to update my blog, and continue being creative. My creative outlets are dancing, drawing, playing the piano, and taking photographs. If I have to force myself to find time for all of these things, then I will. I have too many ideas swirling around in my brain and I need to get them out so I can see them.

The biggest news is that I was cast as a principle role in our production this semester. There were about 6 big parts that were cast. We are putting on a variation of The Wizard of Oz. Our version will be called The Wyos of Oz. All of the music will be played on stage by the band The Wyos. It is going to be an abstracted version of the original Wizard. I was cast as the equivalent of Glenda the Good Witch. I am excited to create a character and try my hand at a little acting along with my dancing. This will be a great experience and wonderful challenge for me to take on.

Good things, good things.